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My company name is Kismattu, it originates from the work Kismat which translates to Destiny/Fate.

November 2019:

So having missed the flight, I managed to book another landing back in London just in time for a friend’s birthday. Something was wrong, I didn’t know what it was or how to explain it but my body was shaking, something didn’t feel good. A week went by and the feeling hadn’t gone, I had to leave again. Another flight booked, and another flight I wasn’t able to board. Never in 27 years and twice in two weeks something was really getting at me. Never mind I said to the customer service agent, I’ll book the first ticket to whatever flight is heading east. Cyprus.


At this point I was really running on feeling, I had no idea what I was doing, where I was going, it was really a little crazy. A couple of weeks later I was sitting on a beach in the Philippines with this same dreaded feeling. At this point I was really thinking I was losing it, because how can I be in paradise feeling so bazaar. Also telling people wasn’t really an option because people how can you explain something you don’t understand. 


A few weeks and a trip to Thailand later all I knew was I couldn’t go home and honestly, I didn’t want to. I had to figure out a way I could earn money and continue to travel, this is when I had the thought to go back to India because it’s super cheap and I can volunteer.


I touched down in Kochi on 21st February 2020 and it was the first time that feeling had gone away. I spent 10 days doing a whole lot of not much being grateful for feeling content again. India and it’s magic wasn’t done with me yet.


I went on and travelled around a bit until I got to Trivandrum and I had this experience of no room at the Inn, every hotel was booked and I again I was lost in India, I called a woman I met and she just happened to be in the next town up so I went to meet her. Days later the world went into Lockdown.


No where was accepting me to stay because I had been in Asia, even with all the chaos going on I felt calm, I knew I was safe I knew I had to stay and so Jess and her friend invited me to go back down south to a village called Kovalam. This would become my home for the next 4 years.


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